here is my paper---love to know what people thing.
Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and the Media
Today in America the Bar and Bat Mitzvah have taken on preeminent importance in Jewish life. Within the Jewish community, they represent a sig nificant reason for religious affiliation, the most involving family ritual as well as a major Jewish financial outlay. In greater American society, they have become so accepted and even admired that they have spawned the concept of the “faux mitzvah” or Bar/Bat Mitzvah for non Jews. Many societal cultural, religious and economic factors have been important in the Bar Mitzvah phenomena. One important factor is the portrayal of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs in the media. I believe that the media not only reflects experiences as they are occurring but influences people’s behavior. By looking at how Bar and Bat Mitzvahs have been and are now being portrayed in the media, we can understand the evolving meaning of this ritual to those both inside and outside the Jewish community. It is also an opportunity to appreciate how Jewish culture is transmitted through the commercial public media.
The observance of a Bar, and later Bat, Mitzvah has had a long history of transformation. Originally, beginning in Talmudic times, reaching age thirteen for boys represented one state of adulthood. There was no discussion of a Bar Mitzvah as a transition moment. The first mention of a Bar Mitzvah ceremony was in the fifteenth century. It consisted of a boy being called to the Torah as a sign of his being a member of the community and his father reciting the blessing that relieved him of responsibility for the sins of his son. In Eastern Europe, it was usually performed at the first Torah reading after the young man’s birthday. In Western Europe, a boy was usually trained to recite the maftir and haftarah on the Saturday following his birthday. As a sign of adulthood, he took a greater role in the service. In addition, an elaborate Kiddush was held after the service and the young man was honored with a banquet. As early as the sixteenth century, the boy gave a speech in which he discussed the meaning of his Bar Mitzvah, thanked his parents or demonstrated his understanding of a subject.
In the United States, the Bar Mitzvah became associated with Jewish education. Some temples and synagogues would not allow the ceremony unless a certain educational requirement was met. In the reform movement, confirmation not only supplemented the non-educational coming of age ceremony, it often replaced it. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah has become the central Jewish ritual and for many families, it frames the time of affiliating with a synagogue. Rabbi Jack Riemer has offered several reasons. The first is that as parents have gotten older, it is one of the only times that one can expect that three generations will be present. The second is that with so much intermarriage, a family cannot count on a wedding as an opportunity to celebrate Jewishly. The third is that it represents a general societal trend towards being child centered.
During the last four decades the media have portrayed Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in a number of television shows and movies. They reflect the creator’s sense of this ritual’s importance in the Jewish community and in American society. The writers and producers also send editorial messages to the Jewish and general public.
The Dick Van Dyke Show was a popular situation comedy of the 1960’s. Although only one character, Buddy Sorrell, was overtly Jewish, the entire program was autobiographical about creator Carl Reiner. Dick Van Dyke lived in New Rochelle, New York on the very same street that Carl Reiner really did. In episode 149, “Man and Boy”, Buddy frequently disappeared from the office. There was concern that he was either seeing a psychiatrist for depression or having an affair. Suspicion increased when he got messages from a woman whom Buddy acknowledged was the rabbi’s wife. Finally, he acknowledged that because his family was poor and he had to go to work, he had not been able to celebrate his Bar Mitzvah. They carefully refer to it as a confirmation. The scene presents the wise rabbi in front of a Jewish star with a cantor praying in Hebrew and all the men wearing kippot. Buddy’s mother filled with pride and perhaps in Reiner’s subtle jab at the formality of synagogues, when Rob Petrie is about to applaud Buddy’s statement of his maturity, Laura, his wife, shushed him. In The Jews of Prime Time, David Zurawik notes that this episode came at the end of the series and marked how timid and afraid Jews were about expressing their identity. Neal Gabler, however, focused on how much Jewish identity there was despite it being slightly hidden under the surface.
The program had significant impact on the Jewish community. In the Opening Plenary of The Roundtable on Religion and Social Welfare Policy in 2003, Professor Alan Wolfe pointed out that this was the first ever adult Bar Mitzvah.) In traditional Judaism there cannot be an “adult Bar Mitzvah” because it is a time determined event. It is as if a teenager who did not have a sweet-sixteen party, has one when she is forty. Yet after the show aired, people called their rabbi’s and asked for adult B’nai Mitzvah. It has now become a mainstay of Jewish life through synagogues, Hadassah, and trips to Israel. All this interest in adult B’nai Mitzvah also must have influenced the Reform movement to reverse its plan to substitute confirmation for Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It was also significant that the American public saw such a meaningful portrayal of Jewish ritual in a popular show.
In 1981 episodes 52 and 53 of Archie Bunker’s Place dealt with his “adopted” Jewish daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. In the shows titled “Growing Up is Hard to Do”, Stephanie decides to have her celebration at home rather than either at the country club of her rich grandmother or Archie’s Bar. She is also faced with the problem of her estranged low life father who abandoned her returning only to steal money from her. Stephanie, herself, focuses on maturational elements of growing up and showing compassion to her negligent immoral father. Archie beamed with pride and the program emphasized that at its core a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a vehicle for personal growing up.
In 1984, episode 143 of Diff’rent Strokes, a thirteen year old African American adoptee of a single white father is so impressed by a Bar Mitzvah, the gifts, the opportunity to drink, knowing Hebrew and the praise and warmth that the family shows, he wants to convert to Judaism. The rabbi, played by comedian Milton Berle, informs him of the difficulties such as Hebrew School and fasting on Yom Kippur. He develops some hesitancy although he remains impressed. He returns to his church a better, more self aware and spiritually wise person. The message to Jews continues to be that the ritual is important and positive as viewed through the eyes of others and to millions of others a Jewish custom is presented as having personal and family value.
By 1989, the Bar Mitzvah had become much more familiar in American life. In Episode 19 of the Wonder Years, the non-Jewish Kevin is envious of his friend Paul’s Bar Mitzvah experience. Not only is the preparation seen in a warm family climate, the grandfather’s gift of his old siddur is appreciated at a deep emotional level. Kevin hopes to experience the same feelings within his own family but is disappointed. He is so hurt that he plans to boycott the Bar Mitzvah, which falls on the same day as his valueless birthday. Paul, himself, is upset by his friend’s absence, but is overjoyed when he arrives during the Torah service. Together they celebrate wildly. In the post scene narration, Kevin recalls the day fondly and says, “When I look back on it, I sort of feel like it was my Bar Mitzvah, too.” This first portrayal of a faux mitzvah marked a turning point in television and perhaps even in American life by demonstrating that this Jewish ritual speaks to universal developmental needs with a unique value.”
The 2006 movie, Keeping Up with the Steins, presents a different story in very different circumstances than the earlier television shows. This full length movie, featuring such stars as Jeremy Piven, Darryl Hannah, and Jami Gertz, is entirely about a Bar Mitzvah. It assumes that everyone is familiar with Jewish rites and is aware of Los Angeles Jewish society. It tells its story both through the overall plot and through a number of references that are directed to the general public and specifically to different elements in the Jewish community.
Although the introduction is pseudo-anthropologic in describing a puberty rite of passage, the initial message is that the public performance of a Bar Mitzvah can be traumatic. The theme of the Stein Bar Mitzvah is “Titanic.” At one level, it is ironic celebrating with the theme of a disaster. At a more subtle level, it challenges the Jewish community to consider how much of contemporary Jewish identity is based on the disaster of the twentieth century, the Shoah. A Black rapper sings hava nagilla which includes phrases, “hava nagilla, beer wine tequila….love a shiksa.” In fact, the step mother of the Bar Mitzvah boy is a non Jewish woman from Texas whose husband met her at a wet tee shirt contest. She talks about the “nachos” she gets from the occasion. Clearly the movie ridicules rather than idealizes the beautiful non-Jewish wife. The competitive Fiedler family is struggling to compete. The father, Adam, who is afraid to become a producer, is an agent and even his son knows that he has a limited feeling of success. He is looking to validate himself with a blowout experience as well as to compensate for his own mediocre Bar Mitzvah which was dominated by his unsuccessful father who abandoned the family twenty six years ago. The boy, Benjamin, is shy and awkward and is afraid to perform publicly. He hopes to avoid the whole experience. The family decides on a baseball stadium theme after the father says, “It doesn’t matter what happens in the Temple.” The mother notes that there are 612 invitations. Is the 613th for the heretofore uninvited grandfather or could it be the mitzvah of the Bar Mitzvah? There is certainly a plot reference to the Bat Mitzvah in the Archie Bunker episode in which an important parent has been missing. The grandmother is played by Doris Roberts who is the mother in Everyone Loves Raymond. She immediately tries to limit her son’s bitterness at his father by saying, “My bum is your father.” The plot begins when the desperate Benjamin, who hopes that the family tension will be so greatly exacerbated with the arrival of the grandfather that the Bar Mitzvah will be cancelled, secretly invites him to come ten days early.
Two Jewish educators are contrasted. The rabbi, played by Richard Benjamin, is focused on selling his book on the O’Reilly Factor. He has no time for anything but a perfunctory question. The grandfather is working with Indians and a hippy do-gooder is introduced carrying an English-Yiddish dictionary and talking about his interest in social justice. He confronts the rabbi with the words, “With all due respect.” The rabbi responds by saying when someone says that they don’t have respect. The grandfather speaks for all Jews who are disappointed in the religious establishment by saying, “In this case it is out of respect to you that I am here.” He tells the rabbi that his issue is that the kid does not know what the haftarah means. The kid doesn’t understand the meaning of the Bar Mitzvah. After a few meaningless platitudes, the rabbi actually settles down and works with Benjamin. In this scene, Hollywood is clearly critiquing the inadequacy of rabbinic relationships and advising the rabbis to relate more effectively to their community who are hungry for meaningful teaching. The relationship between Benjamin and his grandfather develops when Benjamin and his friends get drunk and the grandfather both teaches him and protects him from his parents. In this scene which certainly recalls the Bar Mitzvah fantasy in Diff’rent Strokes, the grandfather distinguishes trying out a new experience from becoming responsible person. Later in further interactions with the grandfather, Benjamin decides to go through with the Bar Mitzvah but not the elaborate party. He attributes his growing up to conversations with his grandfather and the rabbi who by now has been shaped up. This reaches a decision point with eight days to go before the Bar Mitzvah. In some ways this symbolically parallels the eight days from birth to brit. Adam and his father talk about their bitterness, disappointments and failures. All of this is set against a background of a videographer who is hired to film the preparation for the Bar Mitzvah. However, Adam wants them to turn off the cameras every time there is a meaningful and painful developmental interaction. Finally Benjamin decides his theme will be becoming a man. He speaks about how he is a man/boy to his grandmother who had probably gotten that phrase from the title of the episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show about Buddy Sorrell’s Bar Mitzvah. He speaks about the work of reconciliation between his father and grandfather and how he is beginning to think about the uncertainty of the future. His haftarah, which is shown on the screen, is from the portion “Balak” with the famous universalistic words, “He has told you, O man, what is good, And what the Lord requires of you: Only to do justice and to Love Goodness, and to walk modestly with your God.” The celebration is a traditional party at home featuring a meal from family recipes. Finally, Neal Diamond appears singing an authentic hava nagilla. His personal involvement is highlighted with his words of greeting from his mother who plays mahjong with Benjamin’s grandmother. In the post film ending, not just the Bar Mitzvah boy has grown up. His parent have reached fulfillment as the intelligent mother has resumed her career as a writer working with her husband who has become a producer and the grandparents are reunited as a product of this successful Bar Mitzvah.
In her review of the movie in the Jerusalem Report, Sheli Teitelbaum demonstrates that it is more than just a humorous critique of outrageous celebrations. The movie already has educational value. She reports that Rabbi Harold Schulweis, one of America’s most distinguished rabbis, uses this movie in the education process for B’nai Mitzvah at his synagogue, Valley Beth Shalom, in Encino, California. He applauds the movie for its honesty. He bluntly said, “It holds up a badly needed mirror to people who are absolutely mishuga in their quest to impress other people. It shows a kid who decides that he doesn’t want this stuff. He wants a bar mitzvah that is more authentic, simple, knowledgeable and competent. He tells his rabbi… (that) he doesn’t want any part of what’s clearly a sham. I intend to show it to our families three years before the event. The movie shows a craving for authenticity within the children but I think that craving is family wide. (It) offers a representation of the character of Judaism that can only create self-esteem and pride.”
This call is beginning to be heard throughout the country. For example, on the affluent north shore of Chicago, one family chose to celebrate by building an amphitheater for special needs children at a camp. The party marked the completion and dedication of the project. Another father said, “All parties on the North Shore are the same; what was special was how we dealt with our Greek, Jewish heritage at the service. We really gave meaning to our theme, “My Big Fat Greek Bat Mitzvah.”
Throughout the last half century, as the place and status of Jews in American society have changed, Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations themselves have changed. The media has captured this. Initially they focused on capturing tradition and presenting it in a positive way. They even created a whole new ritual, the adult Bar Mitzvah. This was a source of pride to Jews and was part of a more general process of making America more aware of Jewish customs and culture. Eventually appreciation of this particular Jewish life cycle event has stimulated interest in it by non-Jews. The faux-mitzvah has become more than a party for non-Jewish thirteen year olds. According to Rabbi Irwin Kula, it is part of an intercultural sharing of wisdom. Non Jews see that there is meaning in marking this life cycle moment and want to participate in it themselves. The media has facilitated this as well. Now with more confidence in the place of American Jews, Jewish creators in the media have actually begun to critique the behavior of Jewish institutions as well as Jewish individuals. Nothing could be a more powerful message than the grandfather confronting the rabbi in Keeping Up with the Steins. These personal introspective expressions presented to the general public have certainly had positive proactive impact on the Jewish community in America. In looking at the development of B’nai Mitzvah in America, the media have certainly pushed the rest of the community along.

The discussion in class about Jews and genetics hit particularly close to home since both my parents are tay-sachs carriers. It has always been something I have known and as I have grown up through many biology classes has helped me to better understand basic genetics but now looking it as part of being Jewish it is totally different. To me it would make sence that there are genes that are more popular among Jews since there was and has been such a push to marry within the Jewish community. Therefore the same genes would have to be passing within the Jewish community, and especially back in the days of shtetels there was even a smaller community to marry within each other. Thank god there are now tests that can be done to determine if there are problems before there is a birth. I guess I might not necessarily be alive if my parents had not taken the chance and had kids even through there was a 1 in 4 chance that I could have had tay-sachs.

I thought that left behind was a really interesting book to read. I have never read any evangelical novels or really anything about the topic so I was a little fascinated by the book. The story kept be engaged from the disappearances to the romance it had everything in it that made it a fast read. I know that it is a fictional story but I can not believe that there are people that take the rapture and the related things so seriously. To me it sounds so silly but to others it is their religion that they follow to a t. i am not sure if an even like that were to occur what would happen to my faith. Would I look for something new or believe more in Judaism. But while this is an interesting question I do not anticipate disappearances like that happening any time soon. Another thing that we discussed in class that I also thought was extremely interesting was that left behind was one of the top grossing books ever. I had never heard of the book or the series or the dvds and yet more people were buying it then any popular blockbuster hit. I never realized what a big following this was yet from my perspective unless you are in the circle you may not realize that multitude of the movement.

Today’s class about messianic and Jews for Jesus was really very interesting. They were both topics that I knew very little about. I am not sure how I feel about the topic. It is a little strange because I feel that a such a big part of being Jewish is that you don’t believe that god is a person or Jesus, so on that fact alone I am a little turned off. What I find even more strange is that people are “in the closet” about it. Each person is entitled to think how ever they want to but I think that a person who rises to leadership in a community saying they are something they are not and representing a community as a whole is not being honest with themselves and their community. While I may not believe in messianic Judaism a person still has the right do believe it but I do not think it is right to fool a community. It was an interesting comparison that was brought up in class today about Jews who believe that Jesus is the messiah and those who believe that Schnerson the chabad rabbi is the messiah. I would guess that neither of these groups would think that had something in common but both believe that there has been a messiah and are waiting for them to come back. It would be very interesting to see a a person from each of these sides talk to each other, I am sure the conversation would bring new things to blog about.

Today’s discussion about intermarriages and Jewish identity was really interesting and something that as I get older is becoming something I think about more. I have grown up with a strong Jewish identity and want to continue it for the rest of my life however its hard to know who you will meet tomorrow and what feelings are stronger my Jewish identity or falling in love. I do know right now that I plan on having Jewish children and giving the same education and values that I have so I guess my husband would have to share or be willing to learn. So in that case it does become a part of both my Jewish identity and my future children’s identity. We talked about in class that much of your Jewish identity is developed with you family because it is events such as holidays and life cycle events that bring the family together and often time have some Jewish undertone. So I guess the more I think about it the more I feel that when getting married your Jewish identity is in question, and this can even happen when marrying in the religion. Your life changes so much when you get married that religion is something that will also change and it is up to the people involved to continue to develop their Jewish identity.

Black Jews is a topic that I find very interesting and I was glad to have this class o get to know more about the subject. I think it is so fascinating because these people had to seek Judaism out and felt that their ancestry was part of the Jewish lineage. Most people who practice a religion do so because it was passed down from their parents but these black Jews had to almost start out from scratch and I think its great that most of the more traditional Jewish movements are accepting. It makes me feel good that there is a place for “everybody” in Judaism and I think that I some times take that for granitite because I was born Jewish and never had to question it. Also I had the opportunity to see one of Joshua Nelsons video, one of the black Jews who sings kosher gospel. It was a convert he held in Krakow, which its self is ironic since it is in Poland where millions of Jews were murdered during world war two. The square in which he performed his Jewish gospel was packed and I am sure it was not just a Jewish audience. But the music was spiritual and he was passionate about what he was doing and defiantly had the whole audience engaged. It is amazing how many of the normal lines are being blurred and that people are taking their religion into their own hands.

My deciding to get a Jewish studies major kind of happened by chance. I did well on my Hebrew entrance exam and was literally handed 12 credits of Hebrew this made it almost impossible to not pursue the major. However I have also enjoyed taking classes in Jewish studies I feel that if I need to take these gen ed classes that they may as well be about Judaism and history. While I felt that I had a pretty good background in Jewish history the knowledge I gained in college has been more detail oriented and looked at topics more critically then when I was younger. While in class we talked about having the religion pushed on you I have personally never felt that way. I think the Indiana program has enough choices in the major for people to take classes in the area of Judaism that interests them the most, for me that was history and culture. To me those topics have more to do with looking at a people them the religion they follow. Being Jewish or not Jewish I think when one signs up for a class on Judaism or any other religion that have to expect that they class will probably hold some sort of bias so I think you have to go in with that attitude and try to learn from it and make your own opinions, that is at least how I would look at taking a class on a different religion.

Today’s topic in class was very interesting in many levels and it was interesting to see how gay Jews were accepted differently in different movements in Judaism. The section of “trembling before g-d” about the modern orthodox man who was struggling with being both orthodox and gay was particularly disturbing to me. I would have a very hard time being part of a movement that thought I had to change. I am not sure I would have even given the rabbi he spoke to the time of day, while I am not in his position and do not at al know how he feels I don’t think I could have such a rabbi as my leader. A few years ago in Chicago there was a similar conflict. A rabbi was hired to teach at the conservative day school soon after she was fired because she was a lesbian. This created a huge problem for the community because how was a school suppose to teach acceptance yet fired someone for being gay, and she was clearly out and had written on the topic. There were supporters on both side of the issue and I think this is an example of how the conservative movement does have to follow certain guide lines even though I personally am opposed to them. She was then hired to teach at my post denominational synagogue and has become a vital part of the community. Since the community is accepting of her lifestyle it has never really come out as an issue and since I do not know the complete make up of my synagogue I do not know if there are other gays or lesbians but I would hope that they too would feel comfortable.

Today’s topic in class was very interesting in many levels and it was interesting to see how gay Jews were accepted differently in different movements in Judaism. The section of “trembling before g-d” about the modern orthodox man who was struggling with being both orthodox and gay was particularly disturbing to me. I would have a very hard time being part of a movement that thought I had to change. I am not sure I would have even given the rabbi he spoke to the time of day, while I am not in his position and do not at al know how he feels I don’t think I could have such a rabbi as my leader. A few years ago in Chicago there was a similar conflict. A rabbi was hired to teach at the conservative day school soon after she was fired because she was a lesbian. This created a huge problem for the community because how was a school suppose to teach acceptance yet fired someone for being gay, and she was clearly out and had written on the topic. There were supporters on both side of the issue and I think this is an example of how the conservative movement does have to follow certain guide lines even though I personally am opposed to them. She was then hired to teach at my post denominational synagogue and has become a vital part of the community. Since the community is accepting of her lifestyle it has never really come out as an issue and since I do not know the complete make up of my synagogue I do not know if there are other gays or lesbians but I would hope that they too would feel comfortable.